You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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