Your tits are I can't wait for
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
