Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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