Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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