just come out here and I will go home with you...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
