There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
