whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
