I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
