I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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