This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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