you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
