On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
