I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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