god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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