I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
