What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
