I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
