The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
