If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
