Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.