Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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