Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
