Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
