please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
