I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
