I'm so fucking centered right now
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
