Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
