Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
