Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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