I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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