OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
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My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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