Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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