You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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