discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
