My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
