He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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