if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
false alarm, still single
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
