My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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