I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
