yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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