just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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