Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
