dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
