I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
