News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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