i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
