strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Two words: blizzard sex
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
