sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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