There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
