party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
