you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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