i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
