It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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