So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
