4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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