I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
