Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
