one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think people are normalizing furries
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
