I just pynch a tree in the face
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize