I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
