I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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