He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
