and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
