I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The uberlube is also flammable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
