He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
