if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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